On to course 3!!

I am officially a week into the third chemo course. It feels good to get back on track and start crossing off these days one at a time. There are two main drugs that they are using in this course (it should have been 3 but they eliminated the one that causes the neuropathy and numbness in my fingers and toes.....that's good news for my dreams to become a concert pianist). The good news is that the drugs don't affect my blood counts quite as much so I don't have to go in for transfusions quite as frequently. The bad news is that I have had terrible morning sickness (think Arnold in 'Junior'.....still think the Academy robbed that fine piece of art). I have trouble keeping food down, but really just in the morning then I get progressively better as the day goes on.

Okay...one piece of big personal news: Hanna and I set our wedding date for April 10th!!! I am beyond pumped to spend my life with her and can't wait for that amanzing day and every amazing day that will come after. Its less than 6 months away so it is gonna come up pretty quickly.....yikes, i had better start practicing some crazy entry dance to "Thriller" or another 80s classic. that I can put on youtube and gain mediocre fame for. Speaking of time flying by, my friends Colin and Kathleen are getting married this weekned. It's going to be beautiful and I am really looking forward to spending the weekend with their amazing friends and family. I am still unable to put weight on (if only Mcdonalds sold Shamrock Shakes all year round) so I will have to try to beef up for the next few days to get into my tux. I am realy proud of both Colin and Kathleen and am excited to be a part of their lives together.

My dad has had some good news recently. He had been on a chemo drug that was administered 24/7. So he had to carry with him a box with a tube and a needle that was incredibly demoralizing and frustrating. The hospital was able to replace that pump with some pills. This will give him so much more freedom and peace of mind. Praise God! He has a blog at daniellyons.blogspot.com.

Thanks again to Kelly Fisher and the rest of my high school class and senior officers for organizing a fundraiser to help me through this ordeal. It will be part of our 10 year reunion (can't believe I'm an old man) over Thanksgiving weekend. Check it out at www.allwillbewell5k.com.

I am currently trying to get permission from the State to work part-time from home. There is lots of paperwork and red tape involved and papers signed just to get new papers (ahhh....government work). Pray that I will be able to work a little bit in the near future. It will give me peace of mind

I guess that is my update for now. I can't believe that I have been fighting this beast for over 4 months now.....some days it even feels like a lot longer. But, I can't stop until the end is in sight. And now there is April 10th to focus on!! This fight is tiring, boring at times, and incredibly scary so thanks from the bottom of my heart for sharing it with me.

much love and ALL will be well


"The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater."

Chemo break!

After over two months of fighting, I am finally through with the 2nd course of chemo. This was such good news because this course really brought me down at times. It put me in the hospital, it forced me to go to Hershey 4 or 5 times a week at times, it destroyed my appetite, affected my coordination, and a whole bunch of other unpleasantness. For the last week or so, I have been in recovery mode so that my red and white blood cells can recover. Just over the last couple of days, I have started to feel a ton better so I should be ready for the next course to start very soon.....its gonna knock me down again but it is worth it to take one more step forward, one more step toward curing this beast.

The last few weeks have not been all time spent at Hershey. I was able to go to the U2 concert in DC which was unreal. It was my first time seeing them and one of those things that I have always had on my life "to-do list". Evan and I went and met some friends when we got there. Despite a fall on the way in (the drugs have caused me to lost my coordination and some motor function and people probably just assumed I had enjoyed tailgating a little too much), I was able to last for the whole concert and hung on every word Bono had to offer.

The next step as far as treatment is another meeting with Dr. Claxton on Monday. He will examine me and see how the treatment is progressing. Hopefully he will clear me for the next course so that we can get closer to the end. I won't have any "real" knowledge of how the cancer is reacting until the 3rd course is over. That is one of the hardest parts: having to wait and just question how well all this is working.

Since my loss of sensation has been pretty bad in my fingers and toes, the doctor and nurses have decided to eliminate one of the chemo drugs, vincristine, from my regimen. So hopefully I start to get that feeling back and some of those motor skills without losing much with regard to quality of treatment. I am hoping to be in good shape for my good friend, Colin's, wedding in a few weeks. We have traveled the world together and he has been there every step of the way and I can't wait to celebrate he and Kathleen's marriage with them.....dance floor: watch out, I've been working on my human worm.

I want to send lots of love to my Trinity High School class of 1999. As a part of our upcoming 10 year reunion (gosh....it makes me feel old just typing that), our class president, Kelly Fisher, and many others are planning a 5k to support me in my battle to get this cancer out of me. There will also be a bone marrow registry drive as part of it so that we can get the word out about the importance of registering. It will be November 28th (the Saturday after Thanksgiving) and all the info can be found at www.allwillbewell5k.com. Of course I would be running and winning this race if I were healthy (thank goodness I can play the cancer card!!)

I know I have said it about a billion times but I can't tell you how much everyone's support has meant to me. Hanna has been at my side, making me smile from day 1; my parents, Evan, Colin, Kathleen, my PMA coworkers, and the Gabler family have helped in so many ways. And then there are those who are not close by, but have given me strength when I have needed it and reminded me to keep talking to God, even when it is hard.

And so the journey continues and cancer does not stand a chance because ALL will be well!

Dan


All shall be well,
and all shall be well,
and all manner of thing shall be well.
(prayer written by a 14th century mystic.....I smell copyright infringement)

the end of summer

Last night, my parents, Evan , and I went to the Light the Night Walk in Harrisburg. The Light the Night Walk (lightthenight.org) is a nation-wide fundraiser for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I mean, the spokesperson is Tina Fey.....so it must be a big deal...haha. It was awesome to get away from the house and do something outside and it was really inspirational to see the amount of people in this area who came out to try to do something about this cancer nonsense. Its a 2-mile walk and all of the participants carry balloons with lights inside of them so it makes for a cool scene with all of these lit balloons in the sky. Couple that with a hot dog truck and some free giveaways and it made for quite a nice night. The bone marrow registry was also there and evan got his mouth swabbed and got all signed up.....he's hoping for a match in Hawaii or Spain or something. Everyone should check out to see when the Walk is in their area cause it was definitely a great event. Cancer sucks, I mean really sucks, alot, all the time, it is evil; but it has provided me with the chance to meet some amazing, inspiring people who are working toward cures and who just want to love those who are afflicted; not to mention giving me a new appreciation for my friendships, and for that, I am thankful.

Other than that, I have just been hanging out, trying to stay healthy, trying to get some rest and trying to get a bit of exercise everyday.....maybe I could join one of those old lady groups that do laps around the mall every morning. The Fall TV premiers are now upon us so I have stumbled upon some new shows. I may be addicted to Glee already and that also 'may' be something that I am not supposed to admit to others. I'm also getting behind my Phils as they head for a repeat and I'm not gonna let a broken rib dash my dreams that this is finally the year for the Eagles.

Back to Hershey and back to chemo tomorrow morning and I will be ready to get the fight back on. My fingers and feet are still pretty bothersome but I am hoping they are able to adjust things a bit to help with this.

Its hard to believe that it is now Fall and summer is over. I am moving on to my second season of trying to beat this back, which is crazy...sometimes it feels like this has been going on forever and sometimes it still feels like I just got the news. I am still afraid but now I know more about this fight and I'm ready to head into the Fall and outlast the new crop of reality TV shows and do what it takes to win.

ALL will be well

"To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping"

A visit with the doc

Yesterday I had my monthly appointment with my main oncologist, Dr. Claxton. Like usual, I had lots of butterflies and nearly made myself sick worrying about what he may or may not say. I knew he was going to talk about transplants and that made me extra anxious. So, my mom and I showed up and had a pretty productive and positive meeting. He was generally happy with how I was holding up physically and with the progress I am making on the clinical trial. I told him about some of the troubles I have had with this second course and he said that it was common and that I was doing pretty well all things considered. As far as a transplant, Dr. Claxton is not entirely comfortable with a non-related donor transplant in this case. He said that since I was able to attain remission on my last biopsy we should keep going with the clinical trial unless there is a setback. So, we will keep going with the chemo-only treatment and hope and pray that we can get this cured. So, for now, the transplant is off the table. The doc was a bit concerned with the loss of sensation I have been experiencing in my fingers and feet. I have been having tingling sensations and some loss of motor skills. So, we might be reducing the dosage of one of the drugs that has that side effect. Hopefully, this will help to restore some of the lost feeling. All is all, it was a positive meeting and helped to recharge me a bit and prepare me for all of the treatment still coming my way. Two and a half weeks left on the second course!! The finish line is in sight!!

Sorry for the dry post but I just wanted to get all of the info from this meeting out to everybody. I will meet with him in another 4 weeks......so I have a bit of time off before all that anxiousness kicks in again.

Hanna has been coming home for the weekends and for my chemo so that has been keeping me going. I'm real proud of her for taking on a new job and a new city through all of this other chaos. Her strength has been my rock. We had a great weekend last week and I'm ready for her to be back again. I mean, heck, we got ourselves a weddin' to plan ;)

I don't have any treatments until Saturday so I am off to get some rest and get work on staying healthy. Thanks for the love, support, and prayers. It lets me know that...

ALL will be well

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed." -- Al Einstein

slow and steady

Since I have been out of the hospital, I have just been taking everything day by day, slow and steady. There have not been any major happenings...except for the start of the second half of the second course....hey, I gotta break it up as much as possible :) This course has still been extremely rough on my body. I have been extremely exhausted, had pains in my legs, had diarrhea, and I have had zero appetite. That has led to me often being unable to to hold down food because I keep trying to force food so that I can get my nutrition. All in all, it has been a challenge, but, in all honesty, I feel pretty good today and that is what matters right now. No need to dwell on the past, not enough time to worry about the future. Today I feel good and feel ready to use my own power to take steps to my own future.

The next big stepping stone is a meeting with Dr. Claxton on Monday. We will discuss the option of a transplant as well as the progress of my treatment. I am hoping to learn more about my path with this treatment and how he sees it going forward. I am anxious and hopeful that he will be happy with how the chemo is attacking the leukemia......hell, if it is knocking the cancer down like it is knocking me down, it will regret the day it set up shop in this marrow. This marrow is a battle zone and the fight will continue as long as it has to, even if I am weak and tired. I guess that's where you guys come in. In the end,

ALL will be well

"So damn easy to say that life's so hard, everybody's got their share of battle scars. As for me, I'd like to thank my lucky stars that I'm alive and well......" --Kenny Chesney and Dave Matthews

"Aim at Heaven and you will get earth thrown in; aim at earth and you will get neither" --C.S. Lewis

Day by.....more like, minute by minute

The last two weeks have presented quite a number of challenges. I'm sorry for not writing but it has been a rough go of things. The Keith Urban concert was great.....I wasn't able to get a bling'ed out belt buckle in time, but I was looking pretty 'cowboy' if I don't say so myself. It was a new kind of concert experience. I really was not feeling well that day so there was no tailgating, I wore a mask, and we dad in the "reserved" section, which is the little platform with fold-out chairs for people in wheelchairs and with other disabilities. That actually turned out to be kinda fun cause they were in a good location, we had nobody in front of us and we could move around a bit. All in all, it was alot of fun.

After the concert, I really started to feel quite sick.....just feverish really. I had alot of aches and pains and chills and would get really cold and was unable to warm myself up. Then for about three of four days I had the worst headache of my life (and that is saying alot as those of you that have lived with me know all so well). It was constant and it was awful. It made it pretty hard to do anything. I was confined to Evan's couch....of which there are many worse places in this world...he is quite the cook and he took good care of me, along with Hanna, Mrs. Gabler, my parents and everybody else around the H-burg. I took every pain killer they would let me take and nothing really worked all that well. Then, remarkably, last weekend it went away for good but my fever symptoms started to get worse. There seemed to be no end to all of this. My body felt like it was in surrender mode. So on tuesdy I went in for a blood transfusion, expecting to be there for a few hours, and didn't get home until Saturday. They admited me to the hospital for my fever and infection and I was there or four nights getting pumped with fluids and antibiotics. The first few days were miserable because I felt so ill all day, then the next few days were terrible because I was eating rubbery scrambled eggs and watching law and order all day. That was a good sign that I was feeling better. The more you realize how bad hospital food is, the healthier you are and more ready you are to come home.....thats good rule of thumb.

So I was released on Saturday and have been tired and recooping at home, but I feel a million times better. This is the best I have felt in weeks. They even had to postpone the chemo that I was supposed to get last Thursday because I was not strong enough until Saturday just before I left. That means that Friday will mark the halfway point for Course II.....Saturday I will start the second half. It will feel so good to be on the way to being done with this course. It has really roughed me up more than ever.....but I am standing tall, flexing my muscles (or whatever ones are left) and takng steps foreward. Its the only thing to do and i know I have so many people to lean on to get it done. At times this week, I really did have to shift from a 'one day at a time' attitude to a 'one minute at a time' attitude. It was so overwhelming and so frustrating that it was the only way to get through.....and it helped. I also had a great conversation with an old, white-bearded, African Dominican priest while in the hospital. He told me to take this time to appreciate the silence. I took that to heart. We don't do that in our lives and I am going to keep that with me. It helped in the hospital.....although there is less silence there than you may think.....haha, for example, they decide that the best time to take your weight is at 5am for some reason. But, for real, everybody should appreciate silence more often. Its a beautiful thing, it gives clarity, and can help you see things anew.

That has been my journey over the last two weeks. I hope the next two are not so bad. But, no matter what, I know I will get through them. One more thing to share since the last post. My brother was not a match for my marrow. But that is okay....we will just move on and do everything we can. If I need a transplant, it will be from a non-related donor and I will succeed. If I don't need a transplant, I will succeed just the same. It does lead me to encourage people moreso to register for the donor list. it really does save lives.

Well, its getting late and I'm watching Venus trying to survive the first round of the U.S. Open which probably means that it is time for bed. Love and prayers to everybody and.......

ALL will be well


"Diseases of the soul are more dangerous and more numerous than those of the body."...so true

Little Victories

First, I apologize for the lack of entries over the last week. It has been a busy one with lots of trips to Hershey Med Center and a few glorious days relaxing at the beach. After starting Course 2 of chemo two thursdays ago, I had four consecutive days of chemo then I was able to sneak away to Bethany Beach for three nights. Let me tell you that was way better medicine than any anti-nausea meds or blood transfusions. I spent the time with the whole, amazing Gabler family, as well as some other very close friends. It was such a blessing just to feel that sand and smell that ocean air. I'm definitely never taking those things for granted again. The three days were filled with lots of sun, some great food, tons of laughs, and, most importantly, normalcy......no hospitals, chemo injections, or talks of blood counts. I came back for four more consecutive days of chemo which ended yesterday. Now I have a couple days off and will go back on Thusday for three more kinds of chemo......it seems to never end. But, there is a big bright spot this week as well. Hanna and I are heading to the Keith Urban concert on Tuesday.......I think I'm gonna have to go cowboy hat and boot shopping today......or at the very least acquire some sort of obnoxiously large belt buckle.

This round of chemo has been particularly rough. I have lost my appetite and have been extremely exhausted most of the time. The last few days I have been dealing with fever symptoms and lots of aches, pains, and headaches. Nothing has been too unbearable, and I am the first to recognize and thank the Lord that I could be in worse shape, but I have just not been comfortable or felt like myself much the last week.

I guess the other looming stress has been the question mark about a transplant. I feel like I could be gung-ho and focused on the attack more if I knew for sure what was gonna happen. It is still unclear whether the Dr. Claxton will recommend the chemo only option or a transplant. Both are scary and have their risks, both short and long term, but it is the uncertainty that is killing me right now. I want to go full steam ahead one way or the other and it is difficult to just put the brakes on and wait for a bit. My brother Joe went into the hospital last saturday to be typed for his bone marrow to see if we are a match. Siblings are the safest and most likely donors so that would be ideal if we matched. Its a 1-4 chance. I will keep you all posted on those results.

So, during these tough next few weeks, I am going to take it day by day and avoid the big picture until it is more clear. There will be little victories in every day and I will make sure of it. A date to a concert with my gorgeous fiance, an email from an old friend who used to live down the street, a hug at the right time, a good meal, one more day checked off of treatment, a college friend training to run in a marathon for the Leukemia Society, getting back in touch with members of my high school class who are doing amazing things, a day on the beach. Its the little victories that mean the most and help you overcome the biggest obstacles and lead you toward your ultimate victory.

I want to share one more story of the last couple weeks. On the first day of course 2, there happened to be another 28 year old male who had been diagnosed with ALL there starting his first day of treatment. He has been married 6 years, has 2 children, and has already beaten testicular cancer. He is back at it for his second bout with cancer before the age of 30. I was inspired by his demeanor and his readiness to fight. I am hoping that he and I can stay in touch as we go through this together. Please keep him in your prayers....as well as another friend of mine who was recently diagnosed with MS.

Keep the prayers coming as always. I would not be where I am without the people who are reading this blog. I owe you so much. Thanks for walking the walk with me and alwyas assuring me that.....
ALL will be well

"And I'll be awful sometimes, weakened to my knees; but I'll learn to get by on little victories" --Matt Nathanson

"For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for woe! Plans to give you a future full of hope" (Jeremiah 29:11)