the end of summer

Last night, my parents, Evan , and I went to the Light the Night Walk in Harrisburg. The Light the Night Walk (lightthenight.org) is a nation-wide fundraiser for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I mean, the spokesperson is Tina Fey.....so it must be a big deal...haha. It was awesome to get away from the house and do something outside and it was really inspirational to see the amount of people in this area who came out to try to do something about this cancer nonsense. Its a 2-mile walk and all of the participants carry balloons with lights inside of them so it makes for a cool scene with all of these lit balloons in the sky. Couple that with a hot dog truck and some free giveaways and it made for quite a nice night. The bone marrow registry was also there and evan got his mouth swabbed and got all signed up.....he's hoping for a match in Hawaii or Spain or something. Everyone should check out to see when the Walk is in their area cause it was definitely a great event. Cancer sucks, I mean really sucks, alot, all the time, it is evil; but it has provided me with the chance to meet some amazing, inspiring people who are working toward cures and who just want to love those who are afflicted; not to mention giving me a new appreciation for my friendships, and for that, I am thankful.

Other than that, I have just been hanging out, trying to stay healthy, trying to get some rest and trying to get a bit of exercise everyday.....maybe I could join one of those old lady groups that do laps around the mall every morning. The Fall TV premiers are now upon us so I have stumbled upon some new shows. I may be addicted to Glee already and that also 'may' be something that I am not supposed to admit to others. I'm also getting behind my Phils as they head for a repeat and I'm not gonna let a broken rib dash my dreams that this is finally the year for the Eagles.

Back to Hershey and back to chemo tomorrow morning and I will be ready to get the fight back on. My fingers and feet are still pretty bothersome but I am hoping they are able to adjust things a bit to help with this.

Its hard to believe that it is now Fall and summer is over. I am moving on to my second season of trying to beat this back, which is crazy...sometimes it feels like this has been going on forever and sometimes it still feels like I just got the news. I am still afraid but now I know more about this fight and I'm ready to head into the Fall and outlast the new crop of reality TV shows and do what it takes to win.

ALL will be well

"To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping"

A visit with the doc

Yesterday I had my monthly appointment with my main oncologist, Dr. Claxton. Like usual, I had lots of butterflies and nearly made myself sick worrying about what he may or may not say. I knew he was going to talk about transplants and that made me extra anxious. So, my mom and I showed up and had a pretty productive and positive meeting. He was generally happy with how I was holding up physically and with the progress I am making on the clinical trial. I told him about some of the troubles I have had with this second course and he said that it was common and that I was doing pretty well all things considered. As far as a transplant, Dr. Claxton is not entirely comfortable with a non-related donor transplant in this case. He said that since I was able to attain remission on my last biopsy we should keep going with the clinical trial unless there is a setback. So, we will keep going with the chemo-only treatment and hope and pray that we can get this cured. So, for now, the transplant is off the table. The doc was a bit concerned with the loss of sensation I have been experiencing in my fingers and feet. I have been having tingling sensations and some loss of motor skills. So, we might be reducing the dosage of one of the drugs that has that side effect. Hopefully, this will help to restore some of the lost feeling. All is all, it was a positive meeting and helped to recharge me a bit and prepare me for all of the treatment still coming my way. Two and a half weeks left on the second course!! The finish line is in sight!!

Sorry for the dry post but I just wanted to get all of the info from this meeting out to everybody. I will meet with him in another 4 weeks......so I have a bit of time off before all that anxiousness kicks in again.

Hanna has been coming home for the weekends and for my chemo so that has been keeping me going. I'm real proud of her for taking on a new job and a new city through all of this other chaos. Her strength has been my rock. We had a great weekend last week and I'm ready for her to be back again. I mean, heck, we got ourselves a weddin' to plan ;)

I don't have any treatments until Saturday so I am off to get some rest and get work on staying healthy. Thanks for the love, support, and prayers. It lets me know that...

ALL will be well

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed." -- Al Einstein

slow and steady

Since I have been out of the hospital, I have just been taking everything day by day, slow and steady. There have not been any major happenings...except for the start of the second half of the second course....hey, I gotta break it up as much as possible :) This course has still been extremely rough on my body. I have been extremely exhausted, had pains in my legs, had diarrhea, and I have had zero appetite. That has led to me often being unable to to hold down food because I keep trying to force food so that I can get my nutrition. All in all, it has been a challenge, but, in all honesty, I feel pretty good today and that is what matters right now. No need to dwell on the past, not enough time to worry about the future. Today I feel good and feel ready to use my own power to take steps to my own future.

The next big stepping stone is a meeting with Dr. Claxton on Monday. We will discuss the option of a transplant as well as the progress of my treatment. I am hoping to learn more about my path with this treatment and how he sees it going forward. I am anxious and hopeful that he will be happy with how the chemo is attacking the leukemia......hell, if it is knocking the cancer down like it is knocking me down, it will regret the day it set up shop in this marrow. This marrow is a battle zone and the fight will continue as long as it has to, even if I am weak and tired. I guess that's where you guys come in. In the end,

ALL will be well

"So damn easy to say that life's so hard, everybody's got their share of battle scars. As for me, I'd like to thank my lucky stars that I'm alive and well......" --Kenny Chesney and Dave Matthews

"Aim at Heaven and you will get earth thrown in; aim at earth and you will get neither" --C.S. Lewis