It has been a while since I last wrote (I blame Dan Brown's new book) and not too much has changed since my last post. I am about half way through with course 3!! which is a good thing. I am looking forward to putting this far behind me. The chemo has been pretty tough on me. Its given me what seems like heartburn symptoms. I have been getting ill after most meals....though it hasn't stopped me from many a conquest of the Big Mac and the great General Tso. I have not been very sick or nauseous, just unsettled after I eat and after I take my pills. I started a regimen of Prilosec this week so I am hoping that has some effect. Other than that, I have just been completely exhausted and still dealing with the tingling/numbness in my hands and feet. But, all in all, I can't complain..... Evan got me a netflix subscription so I am good to go. What I can complain about is the outcome of the World Series. It was good to see some competitive games but the Phils just never looked very consistent. I think somebody should check Petite's blood for some roids.....he's too old to pitch that well twice in the Series....just ask Pedro...haha. But, in all seriousness, it was alot of fun to watch the Phils make their run and I'm ready for a rematch with the Yankees next year. Now I can focus on the Eagles getting that elusive first superbowl.
From what I am being told, 6 months is not all that much time to plan a wedding; so Hanna and I should keep ourslves busy with that.....although we are a little clueless on where to start.....I am thinking we should start with practicing the moonwalk for our Michael Jackson tribute entrance, but I might be overruled on that one. We are so pumped for April 10th and can't wait to make our vows and start our lives together. I will hopefully be in full remission and this cancer nonsense can be a small, but influential, chapter in our lives. We hate this, and I mean really hate it, but we have learned so much and have been afforded the opportunity to rub our eyes, refocus, and see just how beautiful a life this is. Cancer certainly takes but if you can't focus on what it gives, you are bound for bitterness and sadness.
The next time I will get any sort of real update on the condition of my marrow (still don't really know what that is by the way) will be the first week of december. After the 3rd course mercifully ends, they will do another bone marrow biopsy and check for cancer and whatever else it is they check for. Dr. Claxton will examine the results and let me know how this treatment is going. We are hoping and praying (constantly) that there is no return of the leukemia and that the chemo-only protocol has done the trick. Please pray for that outcome. If the results lead to some concerns or if there is obvious leukemia back in my bones, then we will chance the course of action and probably move quickly toward a transplant. We will cross that bridge if/when it is presented. Too much to think about otherwise.
Like I stated earlier, I have been really sick and, even moreso, I have been really scared.....for myself and my dad (not to mention my mom and bro). It is hard and exhausting to be scared everyday about something. This thing is so unknown and terrifying if you dwell on it. So, although, it has been impossible to bury completely, I have focused on drowning it out with friends, laughter, trips, plans for the future, family, good movies, good books, good music, and so much more. I'm very blessed and that is most evident in the love and support of my friends. For example, I received a care package from some friends that I traveled to Guatemala with a few years back. Also, I recieved a Christmas card (all time record for earliest one ever) with an extremely generous gift from some friends I have known since kindergraten. I am overwhelmed that my high school class is supporting me through the 5k. And that is just the tip of the iceberg. I could go on and on. So, thank you.....this love lifts me up and makes it possible to drown out the fear.
Well.....I guess that is enough blabbering for now (really I just wanna get back to the Dan Brown book). Know that I think of everybody who reads this frequently and I lean on you and your prayers every day. And know (as I do) that...
ALL will be well
“If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.” --- Gandhi